Lesson 3 Insights
“I do not understand anything I see in this room [on this street,
from this window, in this place].”
This lesson is an important part of my healing process. The more I practice stepping back and remembering I don’t know what anything means, the easier it is for me to move to the next step, which is being willing to open up to receive the true meaning from Holy Spirit. As I continue to practice remembering I do not know the meaning of this, I am allowing my mind to be healed of all my false perceptions. When I think I know and am not open to a change of mind, I will not receive the blessings that come from the Holy Spirit’s perception. I will think what I am seeing is real. I will forget what I am seeing is coming from the false, ego mind. I will forget there is no ‘outside’ that is the cause of what I am seeing, feeling or thinking.
So the practice of this lesson is key to my awakening to my true Nature. I can practice applying this all day, especially in those circumstances that disturb me. If I am not at peace with anything, I can return to this lesson and practice remembering I do not know the meaning of this. I can stop being a know-it-all. I can have an open mind and be receptive to Holy Spirit’s healing Light in regard to anything I think I am experiencing.
This stepping back process of saying, “I don’t know, Holy Spirit. Please heal my perception,” is my pathway to Heaven. I can learn to relax, soften my fixed meanings that I am giving to things. I can practice having an open mind, a beginner’s mind. I can practice opening to the peace of God. It is through the peace of God that true understanding comes. I am grateful for being reminded again that I don’t know what anything means. It is through this process of stepping back from what I think I learned in the past that my mind is healed.
I have spent a lifetime believing I understand everything I see. As an engineer, I was trained to believe I could figure things out and make them work. There is a level of pride in showing understanding. This aspect is personally insulted by this lesson. Yet it is this aspect that, if allowed to go unchecked, stands as a barrier to my healing. It represents a closed mind, unwilling to learn because it believes it understands on its own. This self-reliance that comes from the ego mind is a way of keeping God out, like a rebellious teenager saying, “I want to do it my way.” All the while, the Holy Spirit offers another view that brings complete release from limitation and littleness. I am willing to give up the fight to keep my limitations. I am willing to open my mind to the teaching of Holy Spirit. I am willing to remind myself that I do not understand anything I see.
When I assign meaning to anything, I am making a judgment and I have learned that judgment engenders fear. I can accept that I don’t have to see anything outside myself to know that I am Love. I don’t need to see a beautiful flower to extend appreciation. In truth, I am appreciation, I am appreciated. I am loved, and I am loving. I can safely and gently release all meaning so the truth of Who I really am can reveal itself.
After working with this lesson, I asked the Holy Spirit for insight. I received the following: Take up your life in new understandings. Let Me be the source of that. Let My understanding wash over you as you acknowledge that you yourself understand nothing. Do not fear to acknowledge that you understand nothing. This is a step to freedom, true freedom. The ego sees this acknowledgment as a sort of death, for the meaning it has given and received back is no longer valid. The ego desires validation. It wants the understanding it has always accepted. It prefers its own dream to reality. My understanding will take you to the reality of resurrection of Spirit in your life — freedom from the false grave of ego. Let My understanding be possible. Let yours go. Let all things be understood from My reflection, not from yours. If you are willing, My understanding will simply come to you. Why not let it come today?
The more I get into the Course, the more I realize how little I understand about anything of this world. It’s actually a relief to know I don’t understand anything. Somehow, I always sensed there had to be more to life than the way I was perceiving it. For me this lesson is going back to square one in life, except this time I need to be totally innocent of knowledge, like a child, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me as I move ahead.
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