Lesson 11 Insights
“My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world.”
When I am experiencing physical discomfort, a headache, a cold or any bodily discomfort, it seems difficult to believe that my meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world. It seems easy to fall into old patterns of assigning meaning to what the pain or discomfort might mean. Sometimes I frighten myself with the meanings I make up, which seems to make it even more difficult to believe that it is my meaningless thoughts that are the cause of this story.
The same holds true if I have taken offense to what somebody says or does. The anger or resentment or grievance seems justified and certainly not meaningless, let alone the effect of my meaningless thoughts. Yet this lesson is telling me that this idea is the key to the freedom and peace that I seek.
As much as I want this peace, it is surprising how much resistance there seems to be to applying this idea in certain aspects of my life. I want to make exceptions. Yet the lessons are saying that it is the lack of exceptions that makes these ideas so powerful as a healing aid. At this point it is helpful to acknowledge the resistance and apply the idea anyway, even if I realize that part of me doesn’t want to. As it says in the introduction to the Workbook, active resistance doesn’t matter.
What is important is doing the exercises. They are designed to bring about the healing I really want. They will help me move past the resistance. Like the biblical story of the man who asked Jesus for healing, saying, “I believe. Help my unbelief,” these exercises will help me move past the unbelief.
I have been through the Workbook many times. I can see progress. I make less exceptions. For that I am grateful because with less exceptions comes greater peace. It is worth the practice.
I need to be reminded that it is my thoughts that are the cause of the meaningless world I see. Many times, it seems like the opposite is true. I really want to recognize the cause of my ‘life’ experience. I do want to return to the truth and right now I see that this is very helpful. It is my meaningless thoughts that are showing me a meaningless world. If I want to change anything out there in the world, I need first to look at my thoughts, because that is the real cause of what I am seeing.
I want to practice catching or seeing my meaningless thoughts for what they are. I want to practice taking these meaningless thoughts to the Holy Spirit for a transformed perspective. I want to see what is going on in my mind. Unless I really see what is happening in my mind and recognize that this is the cause of what I see in the outside world, I will stay right where I am. I am determined to heal my mind.
Today’s lesson is a very useful tool for me to help me reverse my false ideas about what is real. Stepping back and pausing to remember that my meaningless thoughts are the cause of the meaningless world I see is very helpful to me. Because I believe the opposite so often, I need this thought reversal exercise. When I think I know what is going on, this brings a little humility to my mind. This helps me to refrain from being a know-it-all. This helps me remember to go to the One Who knows, waiting there in my mind to help refresh my memory to help me heal or let go of those false ideas which seem so real sometimes.
Right now I feel very grateful that I have the opportunity to practice these lessons day by day. I recognize that I really do need this practice. Straighten my mind, my Father. It is in need of healing. I am thankful that these lessons are here from me to practice.
The same holds true if I have taken offense to what somebody says or does. The anger or resentment or grievance seems justified…
I was so glad to read those lines this morning. This is exactly what I am dealing with right now. Last night someone significant in my life unfairly attacked me and it came right out of the blue which seems to make it harder to deal with. I hate the way it makes me feel when I am resentful and hurt.
I wasted some time trying to forgive with my ego. I tried ego reasoning. I tried to pretend it didn’t happen. I tried to decide I didn’t care.
This morning I woke up thinking about it and it wasn’t any better. I remembered that my thoughts do not mean anything; that they are based on beliefs. I meditated and in the meditative state, I gave all of these feelings and the thoughts behind them to HS and asked for a new way to see it. I felt better, but every once in a while, I started thinking about talking to him about what he said. No matter how I couched the conversation in loving words, the fact is I want him to take it back. I am believing that this is his problem and that he did something to me.
So you see why I am so pleased with today’s lesson. I truly want to change my mind. I thank Holy Spirit every time I become aware of a feeling of resentment, anger, or fear because He is just letting me know that I need to fully release this and haven’t done so yet.
As I think of my thoughts as meaningless and as showing me a meaningless world, I realize that what I used to base every perception I have on, is an ego that wants to keep me focused in the ‘physical reality’ or dream state, where I am trapped into a roller coaster of emotions and events that leave me exhausted, desperate, confused, and frustrated. This is not a life. This is an absurd existence.
I have often thought that there is nothing ‘real’ here because the nature of this existence seems so ungodly. And deep within me, I know that this place where I have put so much energy and emphasis is not real. It means nothing. This ego has nothing to offer me. These thoughts have nothing to offer me. What I see around me has offered me nothing in my 34 years on this planet other than a roller coaster of emotions that always brings me back to very low states. There is nothing here that I want, so I turn all of this over to God and ask that he show me light and truth and cleanse me of these unreal thoughts and replace them with truth. That is the only way out.
Everything that I have ever wanted: wealth, success, freedom from the 9-5 trap, a wonderful marriage, children… I turn them over to God and put them in his hands because as I go within I find ONE TRUTH which has remained through all my searches and both, dark and bright moments… God has always helped me. God has always given me wonderful gifts. God has brought me light when I was in my darkest hours.
God has even brought me to ACIM twice now. The first time I did not heed the call. I only bought the book and read a little then felt overwhelmed and tossed it aside. The second time, this past month, I was ready, after having gone through very long and dark hours and having God answer me many times. Too many to really count.
My one truth seems to be, ‘thy will not my will,’ for when I turn my need to control everything over to God, and when I just let go and believe that I will be cared for and I will be cared for very well if I just let God do it for me, through me, then I am fine. Only then am I fine. That is the irony of it. Try to do it yourself and it’s a tug of war where all of it gets worse, let go and say ‘here you go. You handle it,’ and all of it gets better almost instantly.
One would think that it would be the other way around, however, we seem to be in a land of opposites… in this dreaming state. What appears to be real is definitely not. What appears to make sense is senseless. What appears to be truth is a lie. Flip all of this around and I see that what appears to be the lie is truth. What appears to be senseless or beyond the senses is the answer. What appears to be unreal holds the key. In dreams, nothing makes sense. And the way out of a dream for me is just asking to wake up. God is the key indeed.
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